The Futility Infielder

Jaywatch

The Rocky Mountain News ran a nice where-are-they-now piece on former Colorado Rockies first baseman Jay Gainer on Monday. Gainer, as you may or may not have read elsewhere on this site, homered on his first major league pitch in 1993. That was as good as it got for him in his six weeks in the bigs, but nine years later, Gainer's still in the game, and he's still got the bug. Having gone to Taiwan, Mexico, Italy and the independent Northern League to play professionally, the 35-year-old is headed back to the Allentown Ambassadors of the Northern League for another season as their DH. He's taking night college classes and volunteer-coaching high-school baseball as well. Good for him.

Reading up on Gainer, I decided that it was time to catch up with the various other Jays I wrote about over the winter. So here goes...

Jay Bell--Payback for scoring the winning run in Game Seven of the World Series? I don't have a voodoo doll, really. Bell has yet to play in the majors this season due to a torn calf muscle and a setback suffered five games into a AAA rehab assignment. The Snakes seem to be making do with Juinor Spivey (.326 AVG/.401 OBP/.515 SLG) at second base just fine. I've seen the wood in Bell's future, and it's pine.

Jay Buhner--Retirement seems to be treating Buhner well. He hammed it up as a part-time coach for for the Mariners this spring. On the second night of the regular season, the M's held an emotional night in his honor. "Bone" has also been doing some work with the Mariners' broadcast team and figures to stay around the game in some capacity or another.

Jay Canizaro (.237/0 HR/8 RBI/.314 OBP/.342 SLG/646 OPS)--Back from a knee injury after missing all of 2001, Canizaro is more or less holding down second base for the Twins in unspectacular fashion while Luis Rivas is hurt. His stats aren't exactly lighting up the Metrodome, but the Twins remain in first place, so he can't be hurting them too badly.

Jay Gibbons (.281/9 HR/16 RBI/.349 OBP/.541 SLG/890 OPS)--The Orioles clearly have an emerging star here. Gibbons ranks sixth in the league in homers, his walk rate is improving, his strikeouts are down, and he hasn't embarassed himself in right field. A few more astute roster moves like the one which plucked him from Toronto might give the Orioles some hope at respectability. The Jays sure could sure use this Jay.

Jay Payton (.240/4 HR/12 RBI/.292 OBP/.397 SLG/689 OPS)--It's a crying shame that my namesake in closest proximity is one of the most useless ballplayers to be found anywhere. Since a solid rookie season, he's become only slightly less of a drag on the Met offense than having a second Rey Ordonez, but that's only part of the problem. The guy plays ball like his head is packed with nothing but sand. I don't think I've seen a player exhibit worse instincts and get by for so long. Payton's strike zone still stretches from the Hudson River to international waters, and I swear I've seen him swing at pitches that bounced. Earlier this season I watched a play where he took off from first base on a deep fly ball, assuming that it wouldn't be caught. Realizing that it was as he barrelled around second, he made a U-turn back to first without retouching second and was called out. Uh, you can't do that, fella.

Last week, when I went to a ballgame at Shea, I kept pretty quiet except when Payton came to bat. But I gave him a few "You suck!" catcalls and the like, trying to feel at home. Payton responded to my taunts by getting three of the Mets five hits, driving in their only run and stealing a base as well. I go to one more game at Shea this year, so if he's looking to me for good luck, well, good frickin' luck....Over the weekend, Payton was singled out by Mets GM Steve Phillips in a team meeting for thinking more of himself than the team, so maybe he's not long for the Big Apple. I'm not sure this guy could make it as a fourth outfielder in Kansas City, Pittsburgh, or Tampa Bay, but I can't wait to find out.

Jay Powell - One of fifty or sixty pitchers Texas has stashed on the disabled list, Powell has yet to pitch this season due to a finger injury. He's supposed to begin a rehab assignment next week, and will be back in the bigs in June at the earliest.

Jay Tessmer (0-0, 6.75 ERA) After getting a non-roster invitation to spring training with the Yanks, he surpised the team with a strong spring and made the Opening Day roster thanks to Ramiro Mendoza's injury. But he pitched only twice before being sent down to Columbus, where he's been effective in relief. Given the fragility of the Yanks' pithcers of late, he may well be back in pinstripes before the season is over.

Jay Tibbs - Back in April, two writers for the Baltimore City Paper came up with the All-Time All-Useless Orioles team (and people said *I* was wasting *my* time...). Tibbs was named to the starting rotation, in the company of Sid Fernandez, Rocky Coppinger, Doug Drabek, and Don Larsen. "... [T]hat 5-0 year was a statistical blip. Back on the mound in '90, he went 2-7 for the O's, with a 5.68 ERA--running his career mark in Baltimore to 11-22. It's tempting to say that Tibbs was never the same pitcher after he got rotator-cuff surgery. Actually, he was. Exactly the same." Ouch.

Jay Witasick (0-0, 1.04 ERA) - Has pitched well but very sparingly (17.1 innings) for the Giants. Clearly, they are onto something.