The Futility Infielder

The Futility Infielder's All-Star Weekend, Day 2: Futures Game and Legends & Celebrity Softball Game

After seven hours wandering among the displays and interactive exhibits at Saturday's exhilirating FanFest, I was definitely in the mood to watch some of the real thing. Sunday at Miller Park offered a double dose off the game--after a fashion. First up was the All-Star Futures Game, a seven-inning minor-league all-star game pitting the brightest American prospects against those from the rest of the world. Immediately following that was the All-Star Legends & Celebrity Softball Game, featuring a handful of Hall of Famers, former Brewers stars, and entertainers.

Our contingent arrived at the ballpark about 90 minutes before game time to soak up the scene, and we were pleasantly surprised to find that we hadn't missed out on the Ben Sheets Bobblehead giveaway. Sheets, the Brewers bright young hurler, appeared in the Futures game two years ago, hence the promotional tie-in.

Unlike the two parks with which I'm most familiar (Yankee and Shea Stadiums), Miller Park has a concourse which allows one to completely circle the playing field. We made a complete lap around the field, checking out the young players while they took infield lessons from 2002 Hall of Fame inductee Ozzie Smith, as well as the various shops and concessions stands along the way. We hiked up to our seats, which like those for Tuesday's big event, were nothing spectacular--the lower part of the upper deck down the rightfield line.

The World team, managed by former Cincinnati Reds shortstop Davey Concepcion, featured a trio of mellifluously named Asians--Hee Seop Choi, Shin Soo Choo, and Seung Song--as well as what seemed like an alphabetical catalog of Latino surnames: Alvarez, Berroa, Cabrera, Diaz, Garcia, Lopez, Pena, Rodriguez, Torres. I recognized many of the prospects by name. Wily Mo Pena, a former Yankees farmhand, was traded for Drew Henson. Choi, a native of Korea, is the Cubs' first baseman of the future. Australian John Stephens, the starting pitcher, has been touted as a future star for the Orioles.

The American squad, managed by former Brewer Paul Molitor (who drew predictably large ovations every time his name was announced), also had some recognizably name-brand prospects. Phillies CF prospect Marlon Byrd, Indians SS prospect Brandon Phillips (the key player the Expos gave up for Bartolo Colon last week), and the aforementioned Yankees 3B prospect Henson stood out on the scorecard. Jays' second baseman Orlando "O-Dog" Hudson, who made waves back in spring training by bizarrely suggesting that GM J.P. Ricciardi was a "smooth-lookin' cat " who "looks like he was a pimp back in the day," was also in the house. The Brewers were represented by two players, shortstop Bill Hall and first baseman Corey Hart, who immediately brought to mind the eponymous '80s pop star who had a hit with "Sunglasses at Night".

Despite my best efforts at keeping score, our seats and the poor sound quality of the Miller Park PA system (geez, Bud, can't you do anything right?), made us feel somewhat detatched from the game. Half-full stands, especially in the upper deck, added to the disorienting aura.

Tigers CF prospect Andres Torres led off the game with a double, but the USA starter, Jason Young (Rockies) struck out two of the next three batters to avert a threat. Stephens made a great play in the bottom of the inning by spearing a Carl Crawford (Devil Rays) line drive and doubling a runner off of first to end the inning. Unfortunately, just as we got familiar with each pitcher's stuff, a new one came along to replace him due to a 1-inning maximum per pitcher.

Confusion reigned among our contingent in the second inning. With one out, Miguel Cabrera (Marlins) beat out an infield hit, then took off for a steal of second. USA catcher Kevin Cash threw the ball into centerfield, where Byrd overran it as he attempted a barehanded pickup. Yet somehow, by the time we digested this all, the inning had ended. The batter had apparently struck out, but had Cabrera been nailed at third? The PA and the Jumbotron yielded no clue, and the fans around us were equally baffled.

The World team mounted a rally in the third. Leftfielder Pena (Reds) was hit by a pitch, and shortstop Angel Berroa (Royals) executed a picture-perfect hit-and-run which sent him to third. Torres walked, and second baseman Jose Reyes (Mets) cleared the bases with a triple. At this point, our group was invited to depart the nosebleeds in favor of more advantageous seating. A friend of a friend had access to a luxury box underwritten by his law firm. Andra and her friend engineered a ticket relay which brought us all into the suite, where we began gorging ourselves on an endless supply of sausage, bratwurst, quesadillas, beverages, and more. By the time the dust (but not our stomachs) had settled, the World team had batted around, scoring five runs in the inning. The USA team answered with a run in the bottom of the inning, as Phillips walked and O-Dog doubled into the left-center gap. But Byrd's sharp liner was speared by third baseman Cabrera, preventing the rally from growing.

At this point the World pitchers began to dominate the USA hitters. Seung Song (Red Sox) and Franklyn "Billy White Shoes Johnson" German (an A's prospect nicknamed by us because of his obvious attire) each struck out two out of the three hitters they faced, and the USA could manage only one more hit the rest of the way against the next four pitchers, who split the final two tedious innings. The final score was World 5, USA 1. Nineteen-year-old Reyes, who hit the triple, won the game's Larry Doby MVP award. Note to Steve Phillips: trade Roberto Alomar and/or Rey Ordonez while you still can.

Immediately following the game, yellow-shirted volunteers began erecting a temporary fence about halfway into the outfield for the softball game. Lineups were introduced for the two teams. The Brew Crew, managed by Baseball Tonight's Harold Reynolds (a former Mariners star), featured Hall of Famers George Brett, Ozzie Smith, and Dave Winfield, former stars Don Mattingly and Ryne Sandberg, fat slob John Kruk (who always looked like a beer-league softball player when he was in the majors), rapper Coolio, skier Picabo Street, a couple of actors from the West Wing TV show, King of Queens actor Kevin James (as big as Mo Vaughn in his Mets jersey), and actress Nadia Dajani.

The Wallbangers (again with the name hearkening back to a better era for the hometown team) were managed by Kenny Mayne, who subversively wore a Seattle Pilots jersey--recall that a certain used car salesman heisted the bankrupt Pilots from Seattle and brought them to Milwaukee just prior to the 1970 season. All of the players were outfitted in replica jerseys provided by Mitchell & Ness, making for a colorful and somewhat insightful peek into the celebs' loyalties. The 'Bangers featured legendary Hall of Famer Ernie Banks (who didn't actually play), former Brewers Paul Molitor, Cecil Cooper, Rollie Fingers, and Gorman Thomas (again, looking like quite the beer-league softballer), Cecil Fielder (who looked ready for a tour on the sumo circuit), race car driver Dale Earnhardt, Jr., football player Howie Long, Olympic speedskater Derek Parra, and singers Meat Loaf and Joy Enriquez, among others.

Ever the intrepid reporter, I actually felt compelled enough to fashion a makeshift scorecard for the occasion. Let me caution the home audience against attempting this in the future. This game featured 13 players per side, not all of whom actually played the field at any given time and many of whom shifted positions every few innings. Additionally, the extra outfielder created a scorekeeping quandary: is a flyout to the left-centerfielder scored a 7.5 and the right-centerfielder an 8.5? I repeat: do not try this at home unless you are an idiot like me.

Since I did actually keep score, I'll recap the game here. Ozzie Smith homered to left in the first inning off of pitcher Meat Loaf to get the Brew Crew on the board. In the second inning, George Brett starred in a hysterical re-enactment of the Pine Tar Incident, as Mayne and catcher Fielder mounted a protest and broke out a tape measure to giggles all around. Meanwhile, pitcher Dave Winfield held the Wallbangers in check until the third inning, when they mounted a rally which featured two-run shot by the ever-mustachioed Fingers (playing RCF most of the game, between former teammates Thomas and Molitor). Two more runs scored in the inning as actor Tony Todd (who is playing Jackie Robinson in an upcoming movie and bears a striking resemblance which was helped by his number 42 Dodgers jersey) and Stormin' Gorman laced singles. Mayne lined into a double play to end the inning.

Ryne Sandberg homered for the Brew Crew in the fourth to cut the lead to 4-2. Foolishly, manager Reynolds removed Mr. Loaf from his pitching duties (he was actually dragged off the field by the Italian Sausage mascot, for those of you scoring at home) and replaced him with Fingers. Rollie blew it, however, allowing five runs including a two-run homer by Mattingly and a solo shot by Kruk. He did make a nice Jeter-esque defensive play to tag Coolio out at home plate on a Brett triple (that would be 7-5-1 in your program), but by the time Meat Loaf came back to relieve Fingers, the damage was done and the score was 7-4 for the Brew Crew. The 'Bangers went down easily in the bottom of the fifth, ending the game.

Despite his role as the goat, Rollie didn't stop smiling the entire time. He and the rest of the players, as well as the fans, all seemed to enjoy themselves. It was just another great day at the All-Star Game Weekend.