The Futility Infielder

The blogsphere's A-Rod of verse
Saw his mood take a turn for the worse.
But showed he was able,
Built a Periodic Table
Of Bloggers, an impressive first.

Yikes. If the Score Bard is the Alex Rodriguez of baseball-related poetry, I'm its Enrique Wilson, so I'll hereby make a solemn pledge not to bust any more rhymes here until the Beastie Boys accept my job application. The enigmatic Bard's muse has apparently been spending time south of the Mendoza Line, so in an attempt to shake things up, he created the Periodic Table of Bloggers, a color-coded page of links mimicking that Periodic Table of the Elements which taunted you throughout high school chemistry. The table was under wraps, but somehow Instapundit got wind of it, forcing the poor Bard to stay up late to finish the page.

I'm flattered to find myself included in the baseball section. My chemical symbol is Fr, for Francium, a "vanishingly rare" radioactive metal which has never been isolated in its pure form. I'm not sure whether the Bard is trying to say I'm tough to pin down, dangerous even in small doses, or completely useless, but as Bill Veeck said, "There's no such thing as bad publicity as long as they spell your name right."

Check out the table, and while you're there, marvel at the Bard's Primey-worthy poetry.