The Futility Infielder

For somebody who generally doesn't watch a lot of television, my Sunday in front of the tube was epic. I caught both thrilling NCAA Tournament games (though the Kansas result shredded my bracket), then turned to this week's offerings of The Simpsons, Arrested Development, The Sopranos, and South Park, many of those thanks to the magic of my personal digital video recorder ("Any television that doesn't have TiVo is broken." -- Jay Jaffe, product shill). Mind you I wasn't sedentary the entire time, managing to help with a handful of projects around the house, some of which even involved power tools, and enough of which involved hauling out bags of trash to keep the illusion of a productive Sunday around the apartment. Just before I settled into my weekly meal of mobsters, I realized that the Yanks final Japanese exhibition game was on TV as well. As easily as 1-2-3, I had one more TiVoed program to consume before bedtime. Ain't technology grand?

I'd missed the Yanks' first game in Japan, Saturday night's marquee affair against Hideki Matsui's former team, the Yomiuri Giants. This considerably more anticlimactic game featured the Yanks squaring off against the Hanshin Tigers. Joe Torre's lineup made reference to the Opening Day one he has already announced, yet kept the fact that this was an exhibition in mind. Derek Jeter was the leadoff hitter, as he will be when the season opens, while Kenny Lofton, who's had a cold spring (.174 BA) batted ninth. Matsui, who'd batted cleanup and homered the night before, was in the #2 slot, ahead of what may be the most devastating trio in baseball, Alex Rodriguez-Jason Giambi-Gary Sheffield. Jorge Posada served as the DH, while John Flaherty caught, Miguel Cairo started at second base, and Donovan Osborne, fighting for a temporary spot as the fifth starter while Jon Lieber's groin heals, took the mound.

The results were ugly. Osborne was rocked for seven runs in the second inning, mostly on singles, while his main competition for the auxiliary starter role, Jorge De Paula (magnificent in his one start last fall), pitched well, allowing one run in three innings. Down 7-1, the Yanks clawed their way back into the game, as Flaherty clubbed a two-run homer and Tony Clark bashed a 492-foot shot off of the Mitsubishi Humongovision (or whatever), which made the score 7-5 and reportedly caused $5,000 worth of damage. But former San Diego Padre George Arias slugged a three-run homer for the Tigers in the sixth inning to put the game out of reach.

The Yankee regulars had departed by that point, replaced by several scrubs still fighting for roster spots. Darren Bragg may have sealed his fate by misplaying a deep fly ball into an inside-the-park homer, though he later threw a runner out at the plate. Joe Girardi, who will move upstairs to the YES broadcast booth, made what is likely his final professional appearance as a player, catching the last few innings. Fittingly, he popped out in his final at-bat. Later I went back to watch the Bragg-to-Girardi play at the plate; the slow-motion revealed an absolutely letter-perfect block of the plate by Girardi, his left leg totally preventing any chance the Hanshin runner had of scoring as the ball arrived. I'll let that stand as my final memory of a fine defense-first catcher.

After the game, the roster moves were announced: Bragg and Homer Bush were farmed out to Columbus after the game, meaning that Bubba Crosby, acquired from the Dodgers in the Robin Ventura trade, has made the team after an impressive spring in which he hit .385. The other player acquired in the Ventura trade, promising triple-digit throwing reliever Scott Proctor, had a decent spring but will begin the season in AAA, while both De Paula and Osborne will remain with the Yanks. This won't last long -- if Osborne, who's pitched in 45.1 major league innings since 1998, is a true starter, I'm a Siberian yak herder.

Michael Kay and Ken Singleton pointed out early in the game that the Yankee pitchers threw a regulation AL baseball made of cowhide, while the Japanese hurlers threw a regulation Japanese ball, made of horsehide and thus tackier and easier to throw breaking pitches with. I did not know that...

The Yanks are in a strange spot now, and I don't just mean Tokyo. They play two games there against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, including Tuesday's opener, which starts at 5 AM Eastern time, then return to the states to play a pair of exhibition games against the Detroit Tigers before the season resumes. Tuesday's early morning start time is a topic of much discussion among writers and fans, of course. Many hearty souls will brag about getting up early to watch; Baseball Prospectus/YES columnist Steven Goldman's even hosting a chat at that ungodly hour [oops, that would be 5 AM Wednesday].

Me, I've got my TiVo, which means the game will be waiting when I arise fully rested at 8 AM. The coffee will be brewed before I get out of bed, my trusty manservent will have fetched me the freshest bagels to be found in all of Manhattan, and I'll be none the wiser as to the results of my time-shifted of the ballgame, save the ability to zap through commercials at lightning speed. Ah, what a magical age we live in...